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20 things you don’t want your toddler to learn


image courtesy of wix.com

My Nanny, who I unfortunately never got to meet, used to say “they’re so smart until they go to school”. And honestly, the older I get, the more I understand what she meant.


We found a hilariously brilliant list of simple facts that @henpecked_hal on Instagram is terrified of his toddler discovering. We added to the list by including all the awesome comments attached to his post.


See below for the complete list



1. Public parks don’t randomly close


2. TVs don’t run out of batteries


3. There is no actual world record for “fastest at putting away toys”


4. Chicken the animal and chicken the food are the same thing


5. Not everyone goes to sleep when they go to sleep


6. The dentist doesn’t actually call every night to ask about how tooth brushing went


7. Baby shark doesn’t need to take a break from singing every other day so he can nap


8. Breaking a cookie in half does not equal two cookies


9. Bandaids don’t in fact make it stop hurting


10. The music truck is actually the ice cream truck


11. Build-a-bear isn’t just for birthday parties


12. Santa isn’t watching


13. Nothing really happens when you count down from 5 to 1


14. The tooth fairy can in fact come to messy rooms


15. Beer isn’t daddy medicine


16. Belly buttons aren’t actually reset buttons for temper tantrums


17. iPads can be charged more than once a week


18. Apple juice tastes way better without water added to it


19. Pigs don’t like bacon, they are bacon


20. Daddy won’t actually enforce anything “when your dad gets home”



Let us know in the comments if you have any to add to this list!